ugh, it’s so goddamn late again and I’m still awake… and listening to music… and just thinking. I just got my grad photos and diploma in the mail, so I was framing them earlier today and I replaced my high school graduation portrait with the new college one and everything just hit me—I thought about everything that I’ve done/haven’t done, the sacrifices I’ve made, the risks I’ve taken, the people I’ve connected with, those who I still somehow actually keep in touch with, etc., and I decided right then and there that I like now. now is sometimes insufferable, but now is also transformative. now is better in the most deceptive ways. now is the time; I’m terrified of now and I like now and I would never, ever trade now for then. anyway, I have no idea where I’m going with this at all and just wanna say this post was influenced by Drew’s mom who, upon learning that I just got a degree in feminist hullabaloo, said to me, in the most serious yet fleeting manner, “are you gonna go for the PhD?” Drew plowed me with a hug at that very moment.