Americans stereotype everyone on the planet and excuse them as just harmless jokes but once someone does it to them, they’ll go crazy

I have “friends” trying to work at Lockheed Martin and every time I hear them say something about it, I’m just like do you even know what they make? Do you know what you’re facilitating?

this man asked me to define “density” and I started talking about overpopulation and capital

he was looking for the physics answer


but be careful not to talk to anyone except professors campuses are strangely draining places

oh, I know — I was actually never involved in anything except my department, that was the only group I fully devoted myself to. I don’t have any regrets, either. immersing myself in one activity felt right, especially as someone who was always stretched too thin with bullshit extracurriculars 

for educational purposes only” -YouTube user dundoid

I need to get my ass back to my campus and talk to some professors and get fucking inspired

how do engineers who work to create death machines live with themselves? how do insurance moguls live with themselves? how do oil company executives live with themselves? how do war criminals live with themselves? how do the asshats at Goldman Ballsacks live with themselves?

what they ask: “I see you have a degree in women’s, gender and sexuality studies — what do you plan on doing with that?”

what I say: “yes, I can do anything with it, but I really want to research and write, maybe eventually go back to school and teach at the community-college level”

what I’m actually thinking: “that degree provides me with enough expertise to burn the flag and subsequently summon a coven of mountain lions to assist in mercilessly removing yr ballsack”


I accidentally applied to this international company that mainly aids in transplanting military families


I nearly shit myself when the dude on the phone told me that


I can’t wait to leave him a passive-aggressive message on his after-hours voicemail telling him that I’m not interested and have other things in store for myself


Album Art


Billie Holiday - Fine and mellow